Blue

Saturday, February 15, 2014

15 February, 2014

Dear Max,
Today was your last day as an only child. I have more emotions about this than I can even say.
Today to celebrate just you and all you mean to us, we had a little party for you at Jungle Jim's. You were a little sad we didn't have cake, but I promise I will make up for it at your birthday. You deserved the celebration. You mean so much to us.
I'm so excited to meet your little sister tomorrow, but I'm also very sad about what it means for our relationship.

You have been the center of my universe for nearly three years now. Trying to imagine sharing that universe with anyone else is hard to do. You taught me a love I never knew existed. You made us into a family. But I know everything is going to be great.

I know you will be an amazing brother. Being a brother is a big deal. You will be able to teach your sister things your dad and I won't. You will be there to protect her when we can't. When we're gone one day, you'll have each other. I'm so grateful for that.

I truly pray you'll be friends. Siblings should be friends. You're the only ones who will understand all of the weird family quirks and can joke about your nutty old mom behind my back.

More than anything, I hope you know how much I love you and that you'll always be my baby boy. Even when you're an adult, I won't be able to see you any other way. You were my first love as a mom. Thank you for all you've taught me to help me prepare for your sister. And for all of your patience. I hope you continue to be patient with your dad and I. Being the first born you'll unfortunately be the first of everything for us when it comes to parenting.
Just know we're trying to do our best because we always want the best for you.
Often times my decisions are driven by fear and trying to protect you. 

When tomorrow comes, and baby sister is here, I know my heart will just grow bigger from love. But I will miss all of my one on one time with you.

Lately I let you sleep with me when your dad is at work (ssshhh, don't tell him). I do it because I just love to be around you. When we lay in bed you tell me a million things. You talk about your day, remind me of things we've done recently that you enjoyed, like going to the zoo, ask about my favorite color and everyone in the family, and ask me every day what costume we should wear for Halloween. You love Halloween! Christmas was fun for you, but you just love to talk about Halloween. You want to be Woody again or a witch. It makes me laugh every night. You're just like your mom in that way. One day we can watch scary movies and go to haunted houses together.

I hope we can still have these one on one moments. Please don't ever think because you have a younger, more demanding sibling right now that it means I love you less. I will always love you more and more as you grow and become more you.

I love you my sweet little man. Don't you ever forget it!

Love Always,
Mom

Monday, November 12, 2012



12 November, 2012


Dear Max,
It has been far too long since I've written about you.
You have made so many changes it's amazing.
You started walking on March 27th 2012. We had been trying so hard to get you to walk, but you just wouldn't. Then all of a sudden you just did. You acted like you had always been doing it. It was so cute!
You had your first birthday party, which I'm sure I went overboard on. But I couldn't help myself. I wanted to celebrate you in the biggest way possible. We had a pinata, a hulu hoop game, pin the tail on the donkey, and I made a giant cup cake just for you. I know you probably couldn't have cared less about any of it. But you deserved a big celebration because you are worth celebrating!




At every check up we are told you're advanced in some way or another. At your 15 month check up you were said to be at an 18 month old level. At your 18 month check up you were said to be at a 2-2.5 year old level! You say 35+ words, you can jump off the ground and have since about 15 months. And you throw a ball like a pro! You are also able to put two words together saying things like "All done" and "Where'd it go?" and "Dadda's pillow".
You say some very funny things. You can make your finger be a #1 and sometimes you hold it up and say "Woo!". You also call your grandpa "Marky" instead of anything else. You really love him and always get excited when he comes home.
You still think "No" is both "No" and "Yes". Sometimes we say things like "Max, do you want a cookie?" and you answer excitedly "No!" It makes us laugh.
One of my favorite things we taught you is we ask "Max, who's a cute boy?" and you answer "Me!". You are a cute boy!
You do this hilarious thing where you hold your arms behind and you and run at us to give us a hug. Though sometimes you fake us out and turn around half way.
You love shoes and love wearing them. Especially big people shoes.
You got to play in the snow the other day and loved it! We bought you snow pants and snow mittens, though the mittens you hate. But you love to look out the window and shout "Snow!"

You had your second Halloween. We dressed as The Incredibles. You were so good about wearing your mask. You went trick or treating with your cousin Vivian. She was a little fast for you, so sometimes we skipped houses and snacked on candy while Viv ran up to the next house.
You do this hilarious thing where your eyes get big and you open your mouth and gasp. Sometimes I think you do it to distract me when I'm telling you to do something you don't want to do.
At our last check up, your doctor said we can't give you bottles any more. I knew it was coming, but I'm not ready for my baby to grow up. We're working on it, but it's tough. In the night you cry a lot and say "Mama, bobba". We usually give in. I think it's because your K-9 teeth are coming in. You're normally very good at sleeping through the night.
Or maybe it's that darn time change! You used to go to bed at 9:00, sleep until 6:30, have a bottle, then go back to sleep until 8:30 or so. Now, not so much. I know you'll find your groove again.

I read somewhere recently that when you're older I won't know things about you because you'll only talk to your dad instead of me. That makes me sad. But I guess that's why I write this blog for you. I know you're going to grow up and not need me some day. But I hope you know that you mean the world to me. I never knew happiness until I met you. You give me a reason to keep going and be happy even when I don't want to. I couldn't care less about things I don't do any more since having you. I don't want to do them any way. I would much rather spend my time with you than go out with friends or to a movie. I feel guilty when I'm away from you. I hope you know I'd be with you all day every day if I could.
You're such a sweet, amazing boy. I can honestly say that you are a good person. You don't hit and take toys and act mean like most other kids your age. Sometimes other kids will push you or hit you and your face looks so sad like "Why would you do that to me? I just want to be your friend". It breaks my heart. I know some day you will experience much worse from people. And knowing how sweet and sensitive you are, it makes me worry even more for you. I never want you to hurt in any way.
Thank you for choosing us to be your parents. My life would have been incomplete without you. You mean everything to me.
I love you!

Love Always,
Mom




Tuesday, March 6, 2012

6 March, 2012

Dear Max,
You are now 10 months old. You continue to learn new things all the time. You have learned how to bite, and bite me almost daily. I try and tell you "No!" but you just laugh and keep doing what you're doing.
You are SO close to standing on your own, but you just won't give in yet. You still have to have at least your hand slightly touching something as "support" in order to stand. But man can you move! Your dad will chase you and you practically run using the couch as support and squealing and laughing the whole time. It makes us laugh so much.
You are becoming a better sleeper. For the past two nights you only woke up once for about 5 minutes, then slept all the way past 6:00! It makes me so happy.
You like to "help" mommy fold laundry by taking all the clean clothes out of the hamper and putting them on the floor, then taking the folded clothes and putting them in the laundry basket.
One of your favorite things to do while we are getting ready for the day is stand in your crib and take all of your toys and drop them one at a time onto the floor. If I put them back in, you immediately start dropping them again.
You are quite a hand full! A real busy body. You are constantly trying to put things in your mouth that you shouldn't. I will tell you no, but you know I'm going to take away whatever you want to eat so you put it in your  mouth as fast as you can. Then I'm stuck trying to get it out before you choke, all while you are biting me as hard as you can.
You also enjoy spending time taking all of the dvd's off the shelf and spreading them all over the floor.
You are definitely my little shadow. I used to be able to block you into the living room and let you play with your toys, but now you insist on going wherever I go. I don't mind, except that some places have too many things for you to put in  your mouth or that will hurt you.
For example, one day you opened a drawer in the kitchen and pulled the plastic wrap out as far as you could. It was funny, but you could have cut your fingers. We now keep those things up high.
You continue to amaze me all the time. Though you are definitely a boy and enjoy burping, getting into things, and often hitting, I still love every bit of you.
You make me happier than anyone ever has. I know you were meant to be our son. And I love you so much. I hope you know just how much you are loved.

Love Always,
Mom

Thursday, January 26, 2012

26 January, 2012

Dear Max,
You are now 9 months old! Where did the time go? I'm already getting so excited and planning your first birthday party. I don't care what anyone tells me, I want it to be a big deal!
You have changed a lot in the past several weeks. You now can stand up by pulling yourself up with the help of the couch, a chair, or whatever is near enough to you. You have two top teeth! You wave bye-bye, give high fives, clap your hands, and occasionally blow kisses. And you now even give kisses by either licking our cheek or leaning in with your mouth open and putting your mouth on our cheek.
The day after Christmas you got sick with Hand, Mouth and Foot disease. Since it gave you a sore throat I let you have Otter Pops. You LOVED them!
Sadly, at the same time you had a diaper rash and you were teething. You were one miserable little guy.
But you finally got better. Then a week later you developed bronchitis! You've had a rough go lately, but it seems you're finally doing much better. You have even started sleeping better (much to my relief).
You've never been overly interested in television, but the other day I turned on "Sesame Street" for you and you loved it. You kept bouncing and smiling.
You had your very first Christmas! You really liked unwrapping presents. In fact, for the few weeks before Christmas I finally had to give you your own wrapping paper to play with otherwise you would tear the paper of the present I was trying to wrap.
You got a lot of presents! Santa brought you a toy that is designed to help you learn to walk by standing and holding on then taking steps, then turns into a little car for when you're older. You refuse to walk with it! Instead you love sitting on it and having your dad and I push you around. You're so silly!
You love food! I mean real food. You eat baby food and take bottles just fine, but whatever we're eating you want! You enjoy cheese, noodles, ice cream, and pretty much everything else on my plate.
You're now a speed crawler too! I will put you down, and you're off on a mission. Most likely a mission to make a mess. You spend a lot of time taking movies off our shelves, books from the book shelves, and opening the cupboards and taking out the contents.
You are still such a happy little guy and such a joy to be around. Lately I've really felt sad that I'm not able to be home with you. I miss you all day when I'm at work. My favorite part of the day is when I leave work to get you. You always greet me with a big smile and put your arms up for me to pick you up.
You have a little friend named Eli at day care. I wasn't sure if you liked him much at first since he's a few months older and sometimes scratches you. But after being gone from day care for two weeks, you squealed with delight when you saw him. You love having a little friend to play with and he's doing much better sharing and playing with you.
I can't believe how many new things you've learned in the past few weeks.  You never cease to amaze me. You are an amazing,  bright, loving little boy. I'm so glad I have you. You make every day so much better by being in my life. I love you so much.

Love Always,
Mom

Monday, December 5, 2011

5 December, 2011

Dear Max,
You finally know how to crawl! But after all of your frustration of trying, you now won't do it because you've decided you can army crawl just as well, thank you very much!
Last night we gave you your first taste of peas. Like me, you hated them! You would make a funny face, spit some of it back out, and gag. We were all laughing so hard at this.
Due to your terrible sleep habits (being awake 5-9 times a night!) we will be going to see a sleep specialist next week. We have tried different methods to get you to sleep, but you just won't budge. Though last week you actually slept for 12 hours without waking. This was a first for you.
You experienced your first Thanksgiving. You loved it. You got tastes of all kinds of food for the first time. Bread, potatoes, green bean casserole. Your dad played a little trick on you by acting like he was going to feed you a spoon full of something. You would open your mouth all ready to take a bite, then he would put it into his own mouth. Yep, that's your dad.
You are around 18lbs now! So big. It's amazing how quickly you grow. Just a month ago you were only 16 pounds. No wonder my biceps are getting so big, carrying you around.
When I look at you, two things stand out to me the most. One, is your smile. You have such a contagious smile. Nothing makes me happier than that grin. It just proves how happy you are. Everyone still says what a happy baby you are. I hope you always have that big smile on your face. Two, your big, beautiful, blue eyes. They are stunning and frequently commented on by others. They stand out because they are so blue. I know you will grow to be a very handsome man.
I hope you know that you are loved. Your dad and I frequently ask you if you know this. Of course you can't answer, but I hope one day you'll answer "yes". Because we do love you, more than you can imagine. You are the greatest happiness we've experienced. Thank you for choosing us to be your parents. You mean the world to us!

Love Always,
Mom

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

9 November, 2011

Dear Max,
You are now 6 months old! Time has flown by, I can't believe it. You cut your first tooth just one week ago. It's on the bottom left in the front. You immediately knew it's meant for biting. Every time I stick my finger in your mouth, you chomp down with that little tooth.
You are so close to crawling it's unbelievable. You haven't quite figured it out, but you want to so badly. When you can't crawl when you want to, you get very frustrated and cry.
You almost crawled the other day. I sat there holding my breath watching you. I nearly burst into tears of pride. I've never been more amazed and proud of anything. Watching you grow and learn is the greatest thing I've yet to experience.
We had your 6 month check up last week. Dr. Gehle said you have such a perfect face you should be a model. And she said that you are very advanced for your age. Of course I was beaming with pride.
You still love your mommy and daddy equally, but you prefer us best when we're all together as a family. When we're all together you smile so much.
Last night your dad came home for ten minutes between shifts and gave you a kiss just before bed. You gave him the biggest grin. It was like your night wasn't complete without seeing him too.
You have yet to laugh out loud. Your dad tries so hard to make you giggle. Instead you sort of grunt, and often squeal instead. It makes him so mad! You're so close, but you just won't do it.
Your dad loves being able to be home with you two days a week. You two just have your guy time and you both enjoy every second.
You seem to nap and sleep better for your dad though. The other day you slept in until 11:00am when your dad was home with you. I couldn't believe it! You never sleep past 8:00am for me. And you nap like a champ for your dad. I can barely get you to take a nap. People tell me it's because you want to spend time with me.
We just introduced you to your crib. You don't like it just yet. It seems too roomy and you tend to get your arms stuck in the side. You're always in there, rolling around instead of going to bed.
You've made my greatest fear as a parent come true. When I tell you "No!" because you're playing in the blinds or pulling my hair, you just turn and smile big at me. Though it's cute and I can't help but smile back, I can't believe how naughty you can be! On the other hand, when your dad tells you "No!" your little bottom lip pouts out and you stop doing whatever you were doing. Silly little boy!
I'm so proud of you. I look forward to all of your milestones, but I don't want you to grow up too quickly. I'm trying to cherish every moment because I know it won't last forever.
I love you so much!

Love Always,
Mom

Sunday, October 9, 2011

28 September, 2011

Dear Max,
You are now 5 months old! You have been growing in leaps and bounds.
Just a little over two weeks ago we were in Oregon and had bought you a bunch of new clothes to wear. Now you don't fit in half of them!
Nearly every day you do something new. I love watching you grow and learn.
For almost a month now you've been saying "mama" off and on. Occasionally you even say "hi" back to your dad and I, which just makes our day!
You started rolling over three weeks ago. Every time we put you down you immediately start to roll over. At first you would roll over and a big look of pride would come across your face. But you're in such a rush to start crawling, you usually end up getting angry that you're now on your tummy but can't seem to get where you want to be! You sometimes lift up like you're about to crawl, but just can't seem to get the hang of it just yet.
You started sitting up on your own at 3 months, but since you're just not strong enough to sit unsupported, you usually lean forward and kiss your toes. But you're almost there! Soon you'll be sitting and crawling, and I will be chasing you all over the place. For now, I just love having you in my arms and you seem to be so happy there too.
On September 8th you took your first plane ride to Portland, Oregon. You did great! When we were standing in line to get on the plane you started to fuss loudly. Because of this, no one wanted to sit next to us on the plane. But you fooled them! You were a perfect angel the entire flight.
While in Oregon, you and your dad walked in the ocean. You didn't seem to love it there since it's so cold.
You also went to the West Coast Game Park in Bandon where you got to pet a baby leopard, a baby tiger, a skunk, and you got to "ride" a ram (with your dad's help of course).
As you grow and I start to think about your future, I really hope you'll understand the importance of family in your life. We will always love you no matter what. And we'll always be here for you. Some day you will most likely be a big brother. I hope you'll have a great relationship with your siblings. I know they will look up to you and look to you for advice. I also know you will be a great example to them.
I hope you don't ever forget where you come from and how much you're loved.

Love Always,
Mom